"Time is a Fascinating Concept:" The Privilege of Turning 30

“Time is a fascinating concept” is a sentence that sparked a two-season podcast. Although my words weren’t groundbreaking, I still remember that gut feeling as the words of episode one appeared on my screen. It was as if that sentence broke through a creative gate, and I began to share the story of a young woman’s life.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about - my apologies. Five years ago, I embarked on a true crime podcast journey for iHeartRadio’s Upstate Unsolved. Although the project spanned just over a year, I still feel the effect of telling Suzanne Lyall, Catherine Blackburn, and Ruth Whitman’s stories. Being so intimately involved in their unsolved cases created a tether to them that, no matter the march of time, will never be broken. 

It’s been nearly one year since I’ve written here, and while I didn’t intend to start this entry recounting a career gone by, I’ve learned in my years of writing not to ask questions when inspiration strikes. Just trust the process and allow the words to flow how they please.

While struggling to fall asleep last night, that same sentence, “Time is a fascinating concept,” popped into my brain. I was reflecting on the last few days of my 20s, awestruck that it’s almost time to cross 30’s threshold. It’s taken me a while to come to terms with the milestone, but God willing, when I wake up on March 1, I will be 30, regardless of how I feel. 

I’d be a bold-faced liar if I told you I hadn’t had freakouts over the concept of moving out of my 20s. But on November 30, I set an intention to shift my perspective.

To help in the effort, I promised myself I would do yoga every day until I turned 30. 

And for 83 days, I have kept that promise. For nearly three months straight, I’ve unrolled my mat and flowed. That daily practice has become sacred, allowing me to reconnect with the me that’s always been there: that inner version of all of us, holding steady as we ebb and flow through time’s progression.

Sun, rain, sleet, snow; no sleep, lots of sleep, hungry, full, angry, happy, annoyed, joyous, sad, stressed, cranky, moody, crampy, excited, bored, neutral - I flowed. Each practice a daily moment of connection to my heart, body, mind, and soul. With every Savasana the blow of the big 3-0 was softened. When I wake up on my birthday, I’ll celebrate dedication along with a new decade.

Neither Suzy nor Ruth celebrated their 30th birthday. Ruth was 18 when she was murdered, and Suzy disappeared a month before her 20th birthday. 

We don’t know how much time we get, and we can’t go back. All we can do is be present, find what brings us joy, work through what doesn’t, and flow through it all.

Time really is a fascinating concept.